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| Only 5 payments of $39.95! |
Hello!
Do you know someone who’s waiting on the “__________ (fill in the blank) Fairy” to bring them their hearts desire? Maybe it’s not a mythical creature they are expecting…perhaps it’s a rank stranger that’s going to randomly ring the doorbell and present them with a job, friends, a date, a reality TV show or a Publisher’s Clearinghouse check?
They can't stop waiting, we have what they are looking for!
We’ve developed a brand new product: Insta-Life ®.
Haven’t you seen our infomercial on at 2:30 a.m. on the public access channel? No? Well now you can now just order yourself a great life. No nasty, grueling, hard work necessary. That takes too long anyway, right?
It’s the best deal. You call 1-888-GRT-LIFE, supply us with a valid credit card number and in 3-5 weeks we'll supply you with a better life - right to your doorstep. 2 Day Rush handling is also available for an additional charge. For your convenience we can set up a payment plan: only 5 installments of $39.95, plus S&H.
For faster processing, please go to our website at www.instalife.com to complete the detailed questionnaire about the life you want.
Be among the next 50 people to call and you can get your new life for not 5 but 4 installments of $39.95.
Just think, anything you can dream of…with a few exceptions:
Due to pending lawsuits with the National Basketball Association, Major League Baseball and the National Football league, we cannot provide you with the life of a professional athlete from these organizations. NHL and PGA are available, while supplies last.
The U.S. Federal government has an obscure law about there being only one current president and vice president in existence at a time. If the life you dream of involves being the president, you’ll have to go about it the old fashioned way.
Also, Insta-Life ® cannot deliver to any P.O. Boxes, Correctional Facilities or C.O.D.
If you are married and your new life will not include your spouse, you will have to submit a notarized spouse release and preliminary petition for divorce. If you have children under the age of 18, your new life will always include them. Sorry, no exceptions.
Once your package arrives, don’t wait; open it. Inside you’ll find a smooth red sphere like the one shown here. It doesn’t look like it, but it has everything you’ve asked for. Just before you turn in for the night, place your left hand on it for about 30 seconds. You will feel it begin to warm. Once that happens, remove your hand and and let it sit overnight.You wake up the next morning and guess what? You have a brand new life! Not just any life, but the one you’ve ALWAYS wanted. You’ll be in best shape of your life, have your dream career, making an obscene amount of money; you'll live in a phenomenal home that completely represents your style and personality. Your car makes other people stop and stare with envy. You'll be are in the best relationship of your life, with the “one” and the nonstop sex is absolutely mind blowing. It can’t possibly get any better than this. Whatever you order is what you'll get.
Call us now!!!
Not a believer? Here are testimonials from satisfied customers:
“Insta-Life ® is great! I’m living my dream life – I’m his only baby mama! Thank you!” – Tracy, 32
“Thanks Insta-Life ®! In two years, I’ll be assistant manager!” -Tom, 48
“Insta-Life was worth every penny. I can now easily last a whole 3 minutes with a girl!” – Andrew, 36
We’re what you’ve been waiting for! Consider this that engraved invitation to get your life started.
Operators are standing by! Call us now!
