"Insecurity is a waste of time." – Diane von Fürstenberg
I've posted that quote to
this blog before, but I think it warrants a sequel.
Why, you may ask?
Well, recently, I had a brief
conversation with someone who was worried about the outfit she wanted to change
into because of her big calves. I told
her that I’d wear the outfit, strut like a supermodel and not worry about what
anyone else was thinking. She decided to
change into the outfit. Later, she
thanked me and shared that her issues with her calves were from a long time ago –
childhood stuff and people used to make fun of her for it.
I thought it was too damn bad
that she was still letting that dictate her fashion choices or her feelings
about her body. I also wondered when
enough was enough. When do you let go
of the bullshit from the past? You were
taunted as a kid over something (or several things) about you that are
different (or made out to be different) by other people.
When is it time to let it go?
Why do we feel the need to
hold on to past hurts?
I know it’s shitty. Kids are
cruel, hell parents can be cruel too – even when they don’t mean to be.
When will you drop it? How long do you play the song in your mind?
When do you decide that you aren't going to live with the fucked up voices –
the ones telling you that you’re dumb, ugly, fat, too dark, too pale, too tall,
too short, fat face, bony face, man hands and all the rest?
You and me and we all have to
remember that just because it comes out of someone else’s mouth, that doesn't make it true. People say all kinds of
fucked up shit to us and we have no idea why.
That does not mean it’s the truth. Really, it doesn't, not if we decide that it doesn't. Hell, many times the people that have hurt
us in such a profound way don’t even remember what they did – we are the ones
that keep it alive – by treating it like a sacred truth. We might not even know these people anymore. We forget that folks are in their own hell
and they lash out. We forget that
children are immature and have a pack mentality. We forget that it was 20 years ago!
It still doesn't make it true.
This is what’s true: Insecurity is a waste of time. It is. Being at peace with yourself – in whatever
form you find yourself in at the moment – that's where it’s at. Stop worrying so much. Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Just. Do. You.
Better to be the best the
version of yourself instead of a shitty facsimile of your idea of someone else.
Here’s to having a great week
and putting those demons, the bad voices and all of that other crap to rest.
