Among
other things, I am reading 12 Years a Slave by Solomon Northrop. In
case you didn't know, they've made it into a movie, but when they do that I
like to read the book first.
Right
now, I’m at the part where Solomon is on a ship after being tricked, drugged
and sold into slavery, despite the fact that he was born free. It’s pretty incredible.
While
on his voyage, Solomon and Arthur, another slave, concoct a plan to overtake
the ship to regain their freedom. He talks
about hatching the plan in secret, not daring to share it with other slaves on
the ship, all of whom were born into slavery.
Unfortunately they could not be trusted because, in his words:
“Brought up in fear and ignorance as they are, it can scarcely be conceived how servilely they will cringe before a white man’s look.”
Whoa.
That
sentence stayed with me. I read it again
and again. In a nutshell, that is
fear.
Fear is a powerful force in the
range of human emotions. It will drive
us to stay when we should go and go when we should stay. It would have us believe lies, even when the
truth is staring us in the face.
Like
those slaves, many of us have been brought up in ignorance and fear to the
point that we’re willing to stand against anyone who appears different or doesn't agree with the herd. The fear and
ignorance drives us to the refuge and perceived safety of the pack. We define our existence based on what others
will think and live small lives so we won’t disrupt the status quo.
Everyone
suffers from this affliction at one time or another. It takes a mighty force of will to stand
alone or stand up for what is right. There’s
the inherent risk of being ostracized; for women, there’s the concern of not being
liked, there’s the danger of being summarily dismissed from your community or even
your own family – for simply deciding to not tow the company line.
There
are those among us, who feel their acceptable life gnawing at their souls, but
take great pains to quell the small voice within that’s protesting the
situation with all its might.
We see
it all the time, the result of the pressure.
It drives you to get married and have kids, when you never really wanted
to. It’s becoming the upstanding
professional that your parents can brag about when you really wanted to be an
artist. It’s the stomach ache you feel
on Sunday night – dreading Monday morning.
This
cannot be the existence that our creator intended. If it was I don’t think so many of us would
be asking “Is this all there is?” or need Prozac to make it through a normal
day.
It’s
the reason that the slogan Thank God It’s Friday is so popular. Why only thank God for Friday? Aren't we grateful to be alive the other six
days? Unfortunately, many of us are not.
Why is
the lottery a big deal? Because everyone who plays is hoping to win so they can quit the job they hate and live they life they
want. The odds of actually winning are astronomically
low, but that doesn't stop people from plunking down hundreds (or even
thousands!) of dollars each year on the mere hope of being the next lucky
son-of-a-bitch that can tell his or her boss to take this job and shove it. Some of us have more detailed plans on our
post-lotto-win lives than we do for our current one.
Each
of us has got to find a way to break our personal chains of fear and ignorance. To follow the call of our hearts and be
courageous enough to go where it leads.
I
wish you the best of luck on your journey; Lord knows I’ll need it on mine.
