You
want to know what hell is? Not being
able to be yourself. Your real
self.
Maybe
that’s why I’m such a fervent supporter of gay rights. Not just for the obvious reasons, but having
to hide or made to feel ashamed of who you love and who you are seems like an unending torment. I can’t stand that
feeling for myself and I can’t stand it for anyone else.
Besides,
I fucking abhor prejudice. But a well-placed,
off-color joke…that I love!
Then
I was reminded that every-fucking-body is prejudiced. Every. Body.
One
of my beloved friends who happens to belong to the pink triangle brigade said, “Bisexuals?
It’s like they can’t make up their mind!”
What
the fuck.
Seriously?
Bisexuals
are the odd man out?
Anyway…
When
I stand in line, anywhere, I do my damnest not to make eye contact.
It
invites conversation – usually banal small talk. I hate that shit. I also have a strong dislike for people that
fucking state the obvious just to get a conversation going: “It is so cold!” or
“Oh my God, it is sooooo windy out here.”
Yes, thank you. I know. I’m in the shit too. I don’t want to talk about the fucking
weather. I don’t want a glimpse into
your reasons for being in this particular line at this particular time. I’ve noticed that most people can’t even handle the nod of acknowledgement. A nod is like an engraved invitation into a fucking conversation.
I just want to stand here and be alone with
my thoughts or read my book or listen to my music. It’s like people can’t handle silence.
Maybe
they can’t handle the voices in their heads.
I can.
Good night.
