This post was originally going to be about this article,
where a woman in Detroit was killed because she refused a man’s advances.
I was prepared to share my own experiences of frightening
verbal attacks because I dared to let a man know that I wasn't interested. As a younger woman I had to learn to use a measured tone, coupled with disingenuous smiles, just to get out
of situations that left me unsettled.
I was going to do all of that until I saw the hash tag #YesAllWomen
- and the comments that went along with
it and I realized something:
I fucking hate activist hash tags.
It feels good, being a part of something…a safely distanced
crusade, but hash tags don’t do shit.
They won’t bring the 200 Nigerian Girls back.
That shit on Twitter is like shouting on a street corner in cyberspace.
Life isn’t moved in cyberspace. Life is moved in life. Life is changed in life.
The hash tag has become one of the ways that we phone it in. Phone
in our concerns. Phone in our rage. It’s para-activism. All from the comfort of
our computers and phones. It’s
bullshit. No judgement, I’m in the bullshit with you; but, outrage
from your living room poured into a hash tag doesn't affect a social change.
It’s yet another away that we’re disconnected from each
other and from the real things that are happening in life.
We have a lot of work to do when our men think that violence is the only
recourse that will soothe their overwhelming feelings of powerlessness. There’s more work to do when our servicemen
and women have more to fear from internal forces than from seeing actual
combat. There's more work to do when the statistics connected to rape are staggeringly high, knowing that not all assaults are reported.
There’s work to do, but hash tags will not get it done.
Here’s what I propose:
No more hash tags. Just do
something instead. Even texting $2 to
the Red Cross is something. Donate some
of your old magazines and books to a shelter. Adopt a needy family for the holidays. Commit
acts of random kindness: next time you’re in the drive through, pay for the
order of the car behind you. Volunteer at a local food bank.
The world needs more kindness and love and understanding –
but these are all verbs. Action words. You
can’t hash tag a meal to hungry person or a hug to someone who needs it.
No more virtual living. Even in small doses, real living, real kindness is what counts. That's what you'll be proud of at the end, not the number of times you tweeted a hash tag.
#realworldliving
No more virtual living. Even in small doses, real living, real kindness is what counts. That's what you'll be proud of at the end, not the number of times you tweeted a hash tag.
#realworldliving
