All In The Thought

"Very little is needed to make a happy life.  It is all within yourself.  In your way of thinking."  -Marcus Aurelius.

Last week, I woke up on the commuter bus and found myself looking at a homeless encampment.  In the five or so seconds it took to pass by, I saw a man stretching in front of his tent like he was on his porch.  I saw a woman come out of her tent, walk to the curb and wash her hands with a soapy solution, like she was at her sink.   It was sunrise and the folks in the row of tents, in that brief flash, were busy with their morning routines.  Even if that was taking place on a freeway overpass. 

Earlier that morning, in my head I was grumbling about the bus.  Too cold, too hot, people have on too much perfume.  Problems galore, right? Watching them, it hit me like a truck.  I'm a schmuck and I don't have any real problems.

My default thoughts are usually about what I don’t have - mostly time and energy.  I think often about what I am not getting done and who is tap dancing on my last nerve.  I rarely think long enough on how fortunate I am for my awesome family and wonderful friends.  That I’m healthy.  I’m alive.  I want for absolutely nothing, but I don’t stay long enough in that feeling to have peace.  Not like I want to.  Not like I think I should.

Happiness is a choice and that choice is in response to our perspective.  We choose what our reaction will be.  We decide whether or not our problems are insurmountable.   We decide whether or not something is a big deal.  Too often, I forget that the choice always rests with me.  

I'm glad for the reminder, because what I face daily, in comparison to being homeless...well, there is no comparison.   It made me feel a bit ashamed.  My dilemmas are akin to soap opera drama.  

Thank goodness that each day brings with it another chance to be the woman I know I can be.