Time Bandit

A few recent experiences have me questioning exactly what the fuck I do with my time:

1. I reviewed my 2016 goals and realized that I had not accomplished ANY of them.  No, not one.  That was a nausea inducing punch to the gut.
2. I looked at my annual credit card statement.  Christ on a cracker, did I really spend that much on Amazon?  
3. I realized that I have 27 (yes, twenty seven) physical books sitting around waiting for me to read, most of which I was supposed to have read by the end of summer, 2016.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

I’ve got to get my shit together.  

Wait, this isn’t a pity party.  Not by a long shot.  It’s not like I did nothing in 2016.  At my 9 to 5, I was part of a team that launched our new client-facing and internal website.  I also spent time traveling to other offices around the country, training people on the new website.  I was accomplishing my work goals…just not my other ones.

I’m not really a person that goes for the whole New Years Resolution.  Not in a formal way.  I don’t give up anything for Lent.  However, going into 2018 with 1, 2 and 3 remaining the same isn’t an option.

I think number one hurt the most because it included important writing goals and I never even got out of the gate.  I started slacking on my blog posts because I was “too tired” and the research I was doing for another project just fell to the wayside.  I also finished writing a short and I was sincerely interested in getting things together so I could make my film.  I have to write.  I need it.  When I don’t write, I get a little insane.  Instead of writing, I spent most of my weekends in 2016 falling asleep on my couch while trying to catch up on the shows on my DVR. I rationalized that I was using my weekends to recover from my work week.  I told myself that “next weekend” I would get back into the swing of things, but next weekend turned into months.

I’m not saying that I don’t need some form of recovery time or that I don’t need to sleep.  What I am saying is that I leaned into that excuse for too long and before I knew it, it was the end of the year and it had been months since I’d posted anything on Brick Sandwich and I was no further along on my writing projects.  Realizing that broke my heart a little.  It felt like a failure. 

Number two?  Well obviously I was on my computer - not writing.  I was too busy trolling Amazon looking for shit to buy.  I have a great job and very little overhead.  I’ve spent more time in my life counting my pennies than not, but I think I’ve now become a little too free with my discretionary income.  A while ago, I figured out that I wanted to be a person that values experiences over things, but the boxes  with the creepy arrow smile, that looks vaguely like a penis, were still showing up on my doorstep.  I will announce loudly that I don’t like to shop, but that really isn’t the entire truth.  I like to shop, but only online.  I hate trolling stores.  I loooooove books (hence problem #3).  Not all of the purchases were frivolous and I don’t have any credit card debt, but despite my hard work, I don’t feel completely comfortable with my improved financial circumstances.  Crazy, right?  Back when I was newly divorced, with an infant, about $25,000 in credit card debt and having to move back in with my parents, this - my current situation - was always my goal.  Back then, I’d see something I’d want and just dismiss it completely out of necessity.  I went years without buying anything new for myself.  I didn’t even have a cell phone, because I wasn’t spending $50 a month on something so frivolous.  If it wasn’t for my kid or on my debt, I wasn’t buying it.  

I’m grateful for that experience.  I learned soul changing lessons.  I never want to go back to that place again.  Ever.  It’s just that now that I can buy most things without really thinking about it, and…well, I don’t like that either.  It’s not that I haven’t earned it, I have.  What I don’t like is the unconscious spending.  I like it and I immediately click ‘add to cart’ or ‘buy with 1-click’ (damn you, Amazon!).   I feel out of control.  I’m setting myself up on a budget.

That’s brings us to number three.  I read a lot.  A lot.  Mostly on my Kindle.  It’s great for my long commutes to work, but not so great when you’re trying to be an active, engaged reader and highlight passages and make notes in the margins.  There were several books I wanted to read for that purpose and I completely dropped the ball.  Same old excuses and no discernible plan.  The pile just kept growing.  For this, I’ve made myself a pledge. I typed it up, listing every single book with a completion date of August 31, 2017.  I’ll cross them off as I finish. These books cost money - but it’s only money well spent if I actually read the books.  Looking at them sitting on a cabinet in my home office - well, that just feels like another failure.  Another broken promise to myself. Not cool at all.  

The problem is the same: waste.  Wasting time and wasting money.  Neither is good, but at least you can make more money.  I cannot ever get back any of 2016 and that weighs heavily on me.  Nothing can be done about that.  What I can do now is recognize the problem and take steps to eliminate the distractions.  

I’ve committed to posting twice a week on Brick Sandwich for 2017.   I’ve downloaded an app that allows me to turn off internet access to my computer for blocked periods of time.  I’ve shut down my Facebook account.  In the past,  I would have insisted on relying on willpower, but that isn’t enough.  I’ve gotta set myself up for success and if I can’t get on the internet for 4 or 5 hours while I’m supposed to be working, then I’ve got no choice but to either write or get reading on the next book on my list.  So far, it’s working.   These are just the first steps. I’ve got a lot further to go, but at least it feels like I’m moving in the right direction. 

I was reading a quote recently from a retired Navy Seal, Jocko Willink, who was featured in Tim Ferriss’ book ‘Tools of Titans’.  He said “discipline equals freedom”.  When I first read the quote, it made no sense to me.  Discipline is rigid and full of limitations.  Freedom feels easy.  But all I have to do is look at what happened with 2016 and I know that he’s exactly right.  Discipline would've gotten me a lot farther with my goals and I wouldn’t feel so shitty.  He also said “If you want to be tougher mentally, it is simple: Be tougher.  Don’t meditate on it.”  I spent so much time last year feeling guilty about not writing, but never really doing anything about it.   Just more meditating on it and more broken promises about writing the next weekend or when I got home from work.   It was a vicious cycle. 

In my heart of hearts, I long to be a good writer, but a prolific one too.  I need practice to get better, not excuses.  I admire people who can seemingly make a dollar out of fifteen cents, but with time.  That’s what I’m looking to do.  If I have 15 minutes - what can I do now?  If I’m waiting somewhere, what can I do right now to move things forward?   I may not always get blocks and blocks of time.  

What I know for sure is that the perfect time (when I’ve gotten enough sleep and nothing else needs my attention) will never come.  

I’ve got to make the most out of what I have right now and see where that takes me. 

Tip Tip Hooray

I’m getting kinda annoyed with our tip culture.  I think it’s out of control. 

First things first: I’m not a cheapskate.  I abhor misers.  I just don’t think that everybody with a hand out requires a tip.  There is a point where you’re being paid to do a job and that will have to cover it, as far as I go. 

Case in point:  Our yogurt shops in town are self-serve.  After getting your own yogurt and putting on your own toppings, they have the nerve to have a tip cup waiting for you at the end. 

For what am I tipping for, exactly? 

Just the other day, we ordered some Denny’s  to-go.   Yeah, Denny’s is a sit-down place, but it wasn't where I wanted to be on Sunday morning.  Anyway, when I was paying for my order, the cashier asked me if I wanted to leave a tip. I told her that I didn't - it was a “to-go” order.  Her somewhat snotty retort was that “some people” leave a tip. 

Well, what the fuck?

I thought the tip was for the server, the person who’s bringing you food, coming back and forth to check on your table and get you what you need.  If I’m taking the food home with me straightaway, then that part has been cut out and there’s nothing I’m tipping for.  We are now having a transaction similar to the one  I experience at McDonalds. I don't tip at McDonalds, nor am I expected to. 

It's a delicate topic.  One that's hard to talk about without coming off like a asshole.  I'm just tired of this shit. 

The Basics of Financial Empowerment

“Keep your overhead low and don’t be greedy.”

This is the best financial advice I have ever received.

It’s so simple and succinct: Keep your expenses under control. Don’t put yourself under a mountain of debt. Nothing obliterates a decent income faster than too much house, too much car and too many credit cards. If you go that route, no matter how much money you make, you’ll always feel like you can’t get ahead. The second part of the advice is not to get greedy. Greed makes you stupid, making bad decisions all the way around with the promise of high returns with little risk. Don’t rely on get-rich-quick schemes or pie-in-the sky investments. Do earnest research and understand what you are investing in.

Part of being a fully functional Brick Sandwich is having control over your finances. With that in mind, here are some basics:

1. Consumer Debt: Having credit card debt is, well…insane. Period. You cannot hope to ever be financially independent if you are still paying for dinners, vacations, clothes and anything else you bought in the past – especially things that depreciate in value. My philosophy is simple: If you don’t have the cash for something, you can’t afford it. If you can’t afford it, then you don’t buy it. I have nothing against credit cards. They can be a great way to keep track of your expenses or even earn rewards – IF you pay them off each month. The problem is most people don’t. They make the minimum payment. Then they charge some more stuff. Make more minimum payments. Before you know it, you have a five-figure balance and have minimum payments that resemble a car note. Now you’re on a treadmill – the more debt you pile on, the faster it goes, until you can’t keep up and you fall off. Figure out what you owe. After that, figure out which card you’re going to attack first. Some folks pay off by interest rate; others in order of balance. It doesn’t matter which method you use, just pay them off.  
2. Savings. After your debt is taken care of, this is the next step. Have at least six months of expenses. If you have nothing saved now, start with that and build from there. Just save it consistently. Before you know it, you’ll have a few hundred. More time will pass, and you’ll have a couple thousand, and so on. Even it it's $20 a month. Just save something. It’s a great feeling to know that somewhere in the world you have a little shield between yourself and the things that can go wrong in your world. Treat savings like any other bill - not optional. 
3. Budget. You have to know what you have coming in and what is going out. This is simple math: addition and subtraction. You add up all of your expenses and subtract it from your net income. If you have more going out than you have coming in, that’s a problem. Your two choices? Spend less or make more. Simple and uncomplicated. Personally, I don’t subscribe to intricate forms or software that would have you assign your expenses to categories. I’m not saying they can’t be helpful, but sometimes they’re intimidating; a pencil, piece of paper and a calculator will do just fine. Another simple way of thinking about your budget is to use percentages. With your net pay, save 10%, use 20% for debt payments (if you have any) and live on the remaining 70%. If you don’t have any consumer debt to speak of, good for you! Then save 20% and live on the rest.  
4.  Educate yourself. Learn something about the financial markets. Learn what a bond, stock and mutual fund is. Find out the interest rates of your savings account and your credit cards. There are tons of great websites out there to help you figure things out (http://www.getrichslowly.org/, http://www.manvsdebt.com/, http://www.investopedia.com/). This stuff isn’t intuitive; no one is expecting you to come out of the womb knowing corporate from municipal bonds or the difference between NASDAQ and the NYSE. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn and get a basic understanding. If you have a retirement account at work, take a look at what you are invested in. If you don’t have a retirement plan at work, take control of your destiny and open an IRA.
5. Get organized. It costs you tons of money when you are disorganized. Do you end up buying the same thing over and over because you can’t find what you already bought? Do you have 3 bottles of ketchup and 5 bottles of mustard because you aren’t taking time to check your inventory before you go grocery shopping? Do you end up spending extra money because you’ve waited until the last minute? A little effort and planning up front can save you a lot of money at the back end, like with car maintenance and Christmas shopping.

When you decide that you don’t want to take care of your financial life, no worries: it won’t take care of you. You’re setting yourself up to be on the bag lady track. Picture yourself at 65 or 70 years old unable (or unwilling) to work, trying to live off of social security (if it even exists) or your very meager savings. You’ve worked for 30 or 40 years and you have nothing at all to show for it. Does this sound like your dream retirement/old age? No, I didn’t think so. No woman alive aspires to be an old lady eating cat food because that’s all she can afford. Most of us are looking forward to a life of leisure; filled with doing only the things we want.

Having no debt and a healthy savings account are not things that happen by accident. They are the result of conscious decisions and very often, strategic sacrifice. By not taking action, you are deciding by default. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. You deserve peace and tranquility your life. That isn’t possible if your financial house is a complete mess.