My patience has definitely grown since I became a mother. Being responsible for another person's life puts some things into perspective. It gives the world a whole new shine and you treat people the way you hope they would treat your child.
The person I am most impatient with now is myself. I'm a consumate goal setter. I am always working on something. I am always fighting against settling in my life - I don't want to wake up 40 years from now and think about the things I could've done.
However, its the time it takes to reach to the goal that is frustrating. I know intellectually, for a person to see a noticible change, time has to elapse. This is the part I often have issue with. I want it all now. I want to blur right through the "in-between" and just be at then end - at the goal. A few years ago, I saw the movie "Click" - you know, the one with Adam Sandler. If you've never seen it, you really should. Here's the cliff notes version: He goes to Bed Bath & Beyond to get a Universal Remote and it turns out to literally control his whole universe, it seems like the answer to his prayers. He can fast forward through the bad stuff - his wife yelling at him, the hard work, the boring "middle parts" to get to this promotion he's going for - to make more money so he can buy his family more things. Just when he thinks he has all of the answers the remote starts to fast forward past other things based on his likes (like that damn Tivo recording shows because it "thinks" you'll like them) and eventually it fast forwards past most his life. The merry-go-round finally stops and it's decades later. He "wakes up" to find that his wife had divorced him and married someone else, his kids were grown and his father had died. He just couldn't believe he had missed all of that.
It got me to thinking. How much do I miss because I'm trying to hurry through to the end? How many times have I said to myself and others "I'm just trying to get to Friday?" I made this remark once to the lovely couple that used to provide day care for my daughter, and instead of the usual response of "Yeah, me too.", I got "You need to stop wishing your life away." That gave me pause: If we cut our lives down to just Fridays, Saturdays and Sunday - that's a considerably shorter life. Is that what I want?
Raise your hand if you want a shorter life.
The point is, no one wants that. I certainly don't. So instead I'm trying to enjoy Monday through Thursday. That's right, even if it isn't payday! Even if it isn't the day my tax refund hits my bank account. Even if it's raining, snowing, the wind is howling...I'm just happy that I'm alive and if that's the case, then I have yet another chance to make the I want. To enjoy my husband, my children, fresh flowers, beautiful sunsets...because isn't that what it's really about? It's not the "stuff" that we all work so hard for that truly makes us happy. Isn't is the connections we have with other people?
