I love the Internet, but it has over-fed our curiosity about our fellow man. People seem to be continually worried about what the next guy or gal is doing.
Celebrities give us a fix by letting us take intimate looks at their lives, their homes and their relationships. For the average Joe you want to spy on, can find out almost anything you wanna know for $39.95. Why do we care? I mean, if you're going about your day to day living, and you're not running background checks on potential employees or credit checks on renters, what do you care about the private personal business of your family, friends or neighbors???
Perhaps you have taken the position, at one time or another, that you like to be "informed". OK, that's fine. If you want to use web to find out how many folks in your neighborhood are registered sex offenders, I say by all means, have at it. That's important information to have and it is provided for the sake of public safety. I say arm yourself with knowledge to keep you and your children safe.
On the other hand, who cares why a celebrity couple broke up?
Take for instance, the latest and greatest parting - Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. Apparently, this man cheated on this wife - with multiple women. News outlets across the country have basically been on "Sandra Watch" - Tracking this woman's every move. Some of the commentary had been downright asinine. - did she go shopping? Does she look sad? Is she wearing her wedding ring? This woman's heart has just been broken. She's has had the most triumphant year of her career, sweeping the awards season, culminating with a coveted Oscar win. Not 30 days later, she finds out that the man she thought was her soul mate has been lying to her for years! To add insult to injury, she has had the added experience of seeing the other women's faces plastered on TV/magazines covers and getting paid thousands of dollars for their story. Why do we care? Jesse James isn't the first man (in the public eye or in private) to cheat on his wife. This is an extremely private matter. This poor woman has been humiliated in the worst possible way, in public no less.
Don't we have our own challenges to contend with? Isn't there something better to do with your time than to feed into the frenzy and take a front row seat to someone else's heartache?
Maybe there's a part of all of us that likes seeing the "beautiful people" deal with crap too. Whatever you think about her acting, Sandra Bullock is thin and rich. Her net worth is estimated to be at least $100 million. I saw The Proposal...she has a great body for a 45 year old, hell for a 25 year old! From an outsider's point of view, she has everything materially one could want. But even with all of that, she doesn't have a perfect life. But didn't we already know that?
When we were kids, my mother used to tell my sister and I all the time to "Mind your own business." First of all, she hated it when she thought we were in her business - asking her questions about things going on with her that didn't have anything to do with us. That message was reinforced when we'd get into trouble: "Stop worrying about other people are doing"! She'd be ready to dole out the punishment for one transgression or another and if we even hinted that what we did wasn't really too bad because other people were doing "it" too, she would say, "Don't worry about them, I'm your mother, you know my rules." She would twist the proverbial knife further by saying that the other mothers probably didn't care what their kids were doing. She'd say that those kids were probably having fun right now, and here we were - in trouble. The expectation was pretty clear- we had to live our own life - based on what we were taught to be right and wrong, not on what other people do. We were expected to stay on course and reach our goals, not concern ourselves with the behavior of others.
It's the same with money. Many of us don't even allow ourselves to feel good about our accomplishments because we are too busy measuring ourselves against others. Friends tell you they are buying a house, you feel like crap because you're still living in an apartment. They say they bought a new car - and not just any car - the top of the line foreign luxury car that's been on your wish list for years - call the law, you're now a failure! They are going on vacation to some exotic locale...you don't even have a passport. It never ends! Not if you are constantly comparing your life to someone else's. Mind your own store. Live in the reality of your situation. If your life is not all you hoped for, then start making some changes. Figure out who in the hell you are and what is important to you. What do you really want? If it's the big house or fancy car with the payments to match, then by all means, do it. If that isn't really your cup of tea, be at peace with it.
No man is an island. I know this. We interact with fellow human beings on a daily basis and sometimes the "undue influence" can't be helped. Or maybe it can. The next time you start worrying over how someone's new "thing" relates to you, take a minute and ask yourself if that really matters to you and your situation. Does this fit into the greater context of where you are trying to go in life? If the answer is yes, proceed with everything you've got. I suspect most of the time however, the answer will be no.
Your life is your life and their life is theirs. A friend of mine has a great quote on his Facebook page that completely addresses this:
When you are on your path and doing the things that fall under your definition of success, you can genuinely feel excited for your friends and family and wish them well. Life isn't a zero sum game. If they are "winning", that doesn't mean you are "losing". Even the assessment that you are losing is your judgement, not theirs. I truly believe that there is a such thing as being ready to receive your good. Sometimes you're just not ready - e.g. you don't have the money, you're not emotionally equipped, etc. and it doesn't matter how many times your see other people getting things that you want too.. you have to"You want my life? Pay my bills!
Once you are at peace with who you are and what you want out of this life, everything else becomes clear. It won't matter to you any more about what other folks are doing, what they are wearing, what they are driving. It just won't. When you are on your journey, doing what will make you happy, then you can genuinely feel happy - for yourself and for them.
