I recently watched Avatar again and saw something I didn’t see before. 
Before we get into that, if you’re one of the 100 people left on earth that haven’t seen it, you still have a chance: Avatar is now making the rounds on cable.
Warning: The post below may be a bit of a spoiler.
I watched it while I was on my treadmill. Since I was also listening to my MP3 player, I could only see the movie.
It’s amazing what you notice in a movie when you can only see, not hear it.
Jake, the lead male character, goes through rites of passage - months of trials before he is finally accepted as a full-fledged member of the Na’vi people. It wasn’t until after he was fully initiated that the female lead, Neytiri, gives Jake the opening to make a romantic move.
He had to prove himself first.
Well, hell.
That’s it, I thought. Neytiri’s got it.
Avatar’s montage sequence highlights what all single gals should be doing: Making him prove himself first.
Like most women, she could sense from their interactions that Jake may have wanted more than friendship. That was fine, but first he needed to show her that he was worthy of her attention.
After he successfully completed the tests, even when she was explaining to Jake that now, as a full member of the Na’vi people, he could pick a wife; she still didn’t throw herself at him. She played it real cool. She named other females, telling him that they would make good mates for him for one reason or another. With everyone she named, his reply was always “…that’s true but, I don’t want so and so…” Finally, Jake told her that she was the one he wanted. Then she gave herself freely to him. Not before.
Women sometimes get so excited when they think a man is even remotely interested that a perfectly intelligent, reasonable, responsible gal turns into a damn lap dog. It’s as if it completely escapes us that we are the ones that say “yes”:
To a date.
To sex.
To marriage.
To him.
Our behavior should reflect the fact that we do the choosing, instead of trying to make our square peg fit into his round hole.
Instead of trying to see if Mr. Tonight is worth a 2nd date or anything else, you’re trying not to eat too much on the date or trying to hold in a fart. Look, I’m not saying eat a whole can of beans before your date and toot out a song for him…I’m saying that if he can’t handle a little gas, he can’t handle a real woman. He just can’t.
Here's another approach: Try seeing if his words match his actions.
There are just too many of us giving it all up much too quickly. I’m just not talking about sex. We let him borrow money, put him on our cell phone plan, co-sign on a loan or move him in to our place, just to say those magic words: “I have a man!”
Since sex was mentioned, let’s talk about it. Basic truth: You teach people how to treat you. If you regard your Va-jay-jay as a “free with purchase” type of deal, he will too. If you present yourself as a disposable toy, he’ll believe that you are. Your body is a precious treasure – everyone who wants the pleasure of your company doesn’t necessarily deserve it.
Think of it this way: Either you’re a community college – where everyone in the community can attend, OR you’re the Ivy League: exclusive, highly selective, private. Only the best and the brightest need apply and even all of them don’t get in.
Or...maybe you're a highly selective state school...either way, just don't be a community college, OK?
