In the past few weeks, there's been a very interesting news item being reported through various media outlets regarding the dating website, Match.com. Apparently, Match.com will now begin screening its members for sexual assault convictions.
The impetus for the action is a lawsuit brought by a woman that used the service. She alleges that she was raped in her home by a man she met on Match.com – on their second date. As it turns out, according to CNN, the alleged offender, Alan Wurtzel, who according to the lawsuit has a record of "six separate convictions for sexual battery" in Los Angeles County alone. The victim, only named as Jane Doe, contends that Match.com should have already been screening members for an assault record.
Hmmm…interesting.
Unequivocally, that what happened to Jane Doe is absolutely deplorable. I applaud her courage in coming forward and reporting the assault. Quite admirably, she is using this situation as a springboard for awareness and I sincerely believe that her actions will help other women.
My issue here is this: I don’t think the screening is Match.com’s responsibility.
There is an inherent risk in meeting strangers – and that risk is magnified when you meet people on the Internet.
Facebook, MySpace, Craig’s List – these are all sites known for giving folks a stage on which they can truly misrepresent themselves. Mostly, the fibs are harmless - folks are just trying to make themselves look more important to impress others. They do little things like take a picture of their dream car on the street and just post it on their page, implying that it belongs to them. Not the best use of one’s time, but hey, who’s really hurt here?
But, when you decide to step outside of the confines of the Internet and have a face-to-face meeting with a stranger (letting them know where you live, no less) then it is up to YOU to take all of the necessary precautions to ensure your safety.
Folks can put whatever information they want into the Match.com website...it’s a dating service, not Homeland Security. It’s no different than the personal ads people still place in newspapers all over this country – and most of them don’t have an accompanying photograph – you get your nasty surprise at the meeting spot!
Jane Doe could have met Alan Wertzel at a Starbucks or at Barnes & Noble and the same unfortunate thing could have happened. This could have happened and he had no prior assault convictions for Match.com to find. He was obviously well versed in concealing the monster within: he was charming enough to get her to go on a second date.
I think the problem is that when you read a person’s profile several times and then exchange emails and possibly have a few phone conversations, you develop a false sense of security and feel like you know them a little bit. The truth is, you don’t know them AT ALL. They are still a stranger. Hell, I’ve been married to the same man for almost 8 years now, and I’m still finding things out about him.
The fact that Match.com is going to start checking their membership against the sexual offender registry is great, but it will also give women a false sense of security. Don’t give up your responsibility to think about your own safety and protect yourself.
