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| Me, Nana and Uncle Richard - early 1980s |
My uncle Richard died this past January.
He was the uncle that was most like a kid - in the best way. He always had the best video games - from the very beginning. My fondest memories are of me and him playing an auto racing game on Intellivision. I loved playing Donkey Kong on his Coleco Vision console. He was very good at explaining the rules, but if you chose not to follow them he'd put you in his own version of time out - it was called "get out".
He had his own way of looking at the world, which made sense because his world was absolutely silent:
He was deaf.
He was born deaf. My Nana said that the doctor who delivered him was drunk (this was the 1940's in Oklahoma) and used forceps to pull him out. In an interesting twist of fate, the doctor was killed a few years later - while he was driving drunk.
To say that Uncle Richard was pissed off about being deaf was an understatement. As I've shared before, I was raised in church and took quite seriously, the mandate that we were to share the love of Jesus with others.
After service, we were at my grandmother's visiting - where Uncle Richard lived his whole life. I don't remember what I said exactly, most likely I told him that God loved him and I wanted him to go to heaven.
Did I mention that Uncle Richard could also speak some words? I should, it's important to the story.
Uncle Richard: God...no love" (with accompanying sign language)
Me: No, no. God loves you (with accompanying sign language)
Uncle Richard: No. Devil. Devil. Burn. Fire. Burn. (yes...with accompanying sign language).
I was 12 years old. What in the hell to do you say to a trusted adult who is assuring you that they are going to burn in hell???
Needless to say, I just decided to hope for the best in this situation and leave the proselytizing to the experts - Jehovah's Witnesses.
As it turns out, that was the right thing to do. My family doesn't believe in the tenets of Kingdom Hall and it's followers; however, the folks that came to the house were deaf and could speak to Uncle Richard at length...until it got to be too much even for him.
Did I mention that Uncle Richard smoked? I should, it's important to the story.
Apparently, after several visits, the Witnesses convinced Uncle Richard to pay a visit to Kingdom Hall. He didn't really get out much, so this was quite the deal.
That was his first and last trip to Kingdom Hall.
As the story goes, he pulled a Winston out of his front pocket and tried to light it up. Quickly, he was advised that smoking was not allowed. Immediately, he was ready to leave. Their visits tapered off after that.
I believe that Fourth of July was his favorite holiday. When I was a kid, every 4th Uncle Richard would paint his entire face black with shoe polish and light up Mexican fire crackers and M-80s in my grandmother's backyard - giving her dog a coronary. I'm sure that the vibrations from the explosions were tantalizing to him, but it was just so fun for me to see him excited and to hear the explosions from across the street - at my house. He was all about safety and wouldn't let us anywhere near him when he was ready to start the show.
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| Uncle Richard meeting my daughter for the first time. |
While I was in elementary school, every day my sister and I went to my grandparent's house - waiting for my parents to get home. Each afternoon Uncle Richard would make me and my sister peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of Tang. It didn't exactly start out that way. At least not with the ready made sandwiches.
Did I mention that Uncle Richard was a neat freak, borderlining on OCD? I should, it's important to the story.
Leslye, my younger sister actually started making our sandwiches. She wasn't doing a bad job - at least I didn't think so. Until, Uncle Richard discovered that there was peanut butter in the jelly or vice-versa. That was just too much for him. After that, sandwiches were made - and cut down the middle - with love...and his peace of mind, knowing that we wouldn't be touching the peanut butter and jelly any more!
Uncle Richard truly believed that he could fix anything with duct tape or electrical tape. Some of his handiwork included:
- Garden hoses
- Vacuum cleaners
- Wall outlets
- Appliances
Honestly, we weren't even sure that that stuff needed fixing...
Uncles are such an interesting presence in your life. Stereotypically, they show you the range of humanity: the playboy uncle, the drunk uncle, the perverted uncle, the fun uncle, the teenager uncle, the asshole uncle and the wise uncle. I've had some interesting uncles, for sure. I even have a favorite uncle...but none of them could top Uncle Richard.
He was in a class by himself.
