In Honor of my 40th birthday…40 Lessons I’ve Learned:
- Life is not a linear path. You’ll go from A to F then back to C and then to M and plenty of stops in Shit Town in between.
- Adapt or die. Change is a guarantee, whether you like it or not. Resistance will be painful.
- You are the star of your own life. Like with a movie, that means you carry the load for pushing the story forward. You don’t get to blame the extras.
- Regrets are a nasty, toxic pill to swallow. If you can possibly avoid them, that would be best. Second best would be learning from them.
- Your life isn’t a rehearsal. The cameras are rolling now, so get to it.
- You can learn something from everyone, even if it’s what not to do.
- Things in life are only what you say they are. If you think it’s important, it is. If you assign a value of importance to trivial shit, you are going to be unhappy.
- It’s not your job to fix other people. Other people always seem like a fun project. They’re really a distraction from your own problems. Fix yourself. That’s hard enough.
- Don’t make excuses. Apologize, yes, but unless you are actually calling from a hospital, no one gives a shit why you didn’t do whatever it was you were supposed to do. Just fucking do it.
- Be grateful. Express gratitude to your friends and family for their presence and whatever deity you believe in for your good fortune. Be glad to be alive. It makes everything better when you focus on what you do have, as opposed to what you don’t.
- Scare the shit out of yourself regularly. Get out of your comfort zone and push yourself - mentally, physically and emotionally. It’ll keep you from going soft. Literally and figuratively.
- Be mindful of your fears. The thing that’s pervasive about aging is an increase in the number and nature of one’s fears. As you recognize your own mortality, you start to retreat from things - driving at night, new technology, unfamiliar places. It’s a slow creep, but before you know it, you’re a shut-in that gets her groceries delivered. Be vigilant.
- Be of service. Volunteer at a shelter, clean up graffiti in your community, do something. Don’t wait for someone else to make things better.
- Be self aware. Regularly assess yourself and be honest. If you like 100% of what you find, well good on you. If you don’t, then see #8.
- Nothing is permanent. Whether it’s fucked up for you right now or you’re queen of the world, it’s all transient. This too shall pass.
- Your worth as a person has nothing to do with what you drive, wear or how much money you have in the bank. It can feel that way (based on the value you assign to material things), but predicating your self worth on that is like building your house on top of a cloud. A piece of shit in a Lamborghini is still a piece of shit.
- The person you have the most friction with in your life probably exhibits the same personality traits as you. Seriously. Check it out.
- Not everything is about you. Sometimes, other people’s reactions have nothing to do with you. You’re the star of your life, not of theirs.
- If you want your teeth, you should act like it. Brush, floss and go to the dentist regularly.
- If you don’t have the money, don’t buy it. There’s no worse feeling than paying for shit you did or ate three years ago.
- Corollary to #20: Don’t spend money before you get it. That’s bonus, tax refund or inheritance. If it’s not in your hot little hands, it isn’t guaranteed.
- Don’t be a shit disturber. Mind your own business. Stay of out of the fray, whether it’s at work or your family. No good can come from it. Trust me.
- Insecurity is a waste of time. The mere fact that the right egg and sperm met at just the perfect time to make you is evidence that you are meant to be here. Whatever you think you’re missing (too tall, short, dark, fat), it’s what you’ve agreed to in your own mind. Your mind can be changed.
- Time is the only resource you own that cannot be replenished. You can make more money, you can get more things, but once time is gone…that’s it.
- Friends are the family we pick for ourselves. Choose wisely. Not everyone deserves a front row seat in our lives.
- There’s never a perfect time to get married, have a baby or buy a house. If you want to do those things, do them. Just don’t do them for someone else.
- Be yourself - whomever that is. It's an oft repeated phrase, but it’s true. People gravitate toward authenticity. Don’t be a second rate somebody else.
- A pity party should only last 72 hours - at the most. Any longer than that is just pitiful and you’re definitely headed to Whineyville.
- Be here now. Wherever that is. Don’t use your fucking phone when you’re eating with other people. Just be with them, enjoy them. Listen to what’s being said instead of thinking about what you have to do next. Breathe.
- Hard work isn’t a montage in a movie. It’s not entertaining and it won’t only take 5 minutes. It can be boring and tedious, but if you do it right, it will take you to the next level.
- Watch what people do, not what they say. Words are the easiest thing to throw around. If someone shows you with their actions that they’re an uncaring, self-absorbed asshole, believe them.
- Give people their flowers while they’re still living. Don’t wait to tell the people in your life how you feel about them. If you wait too long, then you’ll have to deal with #4.
- Only marry someone you do not want to change. Whomever they are, right now, if you don’t like them, walk away. It will be no different 5 years from now.
- There is never better than here. There has its own set of problems. It only looks more fun.
- If you feel the need to impress someone, impress yourself.
- Always listen to your gut, no questions asked. Don’t try to reason with it and for the love of all that is holy, don’t ignore it. You will be sorry if you do.
- I don’t care if it’s your dream job or not, if you’re sitting in the seat, do the work. Do it as if it’s your calling, as if your life depends on it. You do that and you won’t have to ask for more, it will find you.
- Your actions are always the best indicator of what you really think is important.
- Resilience is the secret to life. In life, you can throw as many punches as you want, but if you’ve got a glass jaw, all life has to do is throw one punch and you’re done.
- Laugh every day. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at the crazy situations you find yourself in. Don’t take it so seriously. You do really only ride this ride once. Have fun.
